Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Thoughts on: Killing Comparisons

Photo from Leen Jean you can buy this print there and hang it as a wonderful reminder

Theodore Roosevelt had this one right. In an age full of twitter, tumblr, and instagram in which we are constantly bombarded with images of bodies, face, and lives we deem "better" than our own, it couldn't ring more true. My trusty iPhone makes scrolling through my facebook timeline at any quick moment of down time a norm, staying up-to-date on the lives of friends and acquaintances through the years.  Its harmless and fun until the all too familiar thoughts come creeping in as I see someone else get their dream job, move to the city of their dreams, get a promotion, or just have their shit together in general- "why can't you get your shit together?" "what are you doing with your life?" "what is wrong with you?". Before I know it I am in a crummy mood, my day is ruined, and I can just forget about being happy for my sorority sister who just announced her engagement. As I find myself in a position where I am unsure what the next step in my life should be, questioning the path I have taken and the goals I previously set, and in general not happy but trying to make the best of where I am, I find these moods and thoughts popping up more and more. 

Too often, our comparisons turn to our looks. How often have you found yourself scrolling through tumblr or instagram and saying to yourself "I wish I had her legs" "I wish I had hair like that" "Why can't I be as thin and tall as her?" "Does she even have pores?" "I am so ugly compared to their girlfriend I am scum/trash/whatever insult you can think of"? If you're like most other girls (including myself at times) it's happened more than once. And don't you feel absolutely miserable afterward? 

Just like good old Ted said, I've been comparing myself to others and its not only making it impossible to see the good things but it is emotionally draining! The truth is, all of our lives are going to be different because we all have a different path, we all learn lessons and grow at different rates and in different ways, and sometimes things just plain don't work out- and there is NOTHING wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with you. 

We pick apart our looks, accomplishments, and possessions/experiences and rip ourselves to shreds over small snippets of the lives of others that we see. We don't know what someone might be struggling with but not posting online, how much makeup someone is wearing, how much they spend on treatments to look like they do, the hard work that they put in, or even what their insecurities might be.

I might not be the prettiest girl on the block, my weight isn't where I would like it to be, my skin has been a pain to deal with lately, and my life is stuck in a rut that I can't seem to find my way out of-but that's okay. For everything that I am not- there are loads of things that I am. I am loved. I am smart. I am talented (even if I haven't found those talents yet). I have a family and friends that love me. I have struggles and I've survived and I'm learning from them every day. I have potential and a full life ahead of me just waiting for me to embrace to its full potential. I may not be where "everyone" else might be in their life and I may not look like them but when did our worth, importance, and success become something we measure based on someone else? We aren't them, and the sooner we realize that our lives and our bodies aren't supposed to look like anyone else's but our own, the better. 

It might be easier said than done but its a nasty habit we need to break. Stop comparing and stop letting this toxic, negative thinking suck the joy out of your life. You deserve it.


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